The People's Republic of Ramonia

We (fellow test engineer "Bishopman the Undulator" and I) were looking out of the window at the builders from the spankly new almost complete apartment block opposite our office. They all seemed to be sitting around on the pavement doing nothing in particular. They do this quite a bit. I'm not saying they don't work, as the building is obviously progressing, but they do spend quite a while sitting on the pavement. The funniest bit is when any moderately attractive girl walks past and you see all their heads follow her rear end in unison. Anyway, we were contemplating that they spend quite a lot of time just sitting on the pavement and thinking that they probably think that we spend a lot of time just sitting at our desks and looking out of the window, when I realised what they were doing. They were waiting for Bon Jovi.

Bon Jovi is an important part of all building work around the world, and recent international legislation has declared that no building is structurally sound unless it has been declared so by Jon Bon Jovi himself. Sure enough, 5 minutes later, a cowboy (on a steel horse he rode) arrived, with a long haired axe wielding assistant riding pillion, and they proceeded to climb up the exterior scafolding of the building. When at the highest point, they struck a pose and launched into some simpering soft rock with an extended overblown soaring solo part. The building held firm, and then Jon and Richie (for it was they) abseiled down the building using specially tensioned guitar strings. As they rode off into the sunset, Jon sang out "It's alreet lads!" (New Jersey has a very similar accent to Darlington), and the workers got up and went back to work, no longer living on a prayer.

Of course, this job used to be carried out by Slash and Axocotl Rose of Guns and Roses, but they don't get on anymore. Naturally too, Bon Jovi can't be everywhere, and we have noticed that local Sheffield boys Def Leppard take care of some of the less prodigious buildings, as it takes a bit longer for their one armed drummer to climb the scaffolding.

I didn't mention the other major change in the land of Ramonia and that is that I have become a test engineer (for 6 months at least). This mostly involves hanging around in a large white room with big machines in it and working my way through a pile of 20 gazillion chips, putting each one into part of the big machine and pressing go. Then, a few minutes later I put another one in and press go again. I don't think it will all be quite as exciting as this though, and I may be forced to create some tests of my own at some point. It's ok as a summer job though and gives me time to thank about various musical ideas (amongst other things) in between chips. I should point out at this point, that these are computer/silicon chips not McCain homestyle fries or something, which I don't believe require putting into big machines 1 at a time, then baking for a week and then being put back into big machines 1 at a time again. If the people at McCain did that, then I don't think they would really make enough chips to feed everyone and they would also taste fairly foul. Anyway, I don't work for McCain ok?

I will never say that I will write more often in a blog again. Not quite sure what happened to July! The highlights were a trip to York races care of my gracious employers where I managed to win a whole English pound, drink quite a large amount of Pimms and feel quite smug and almost posh for an afternoon. This was quickly followed by a lurch back down to earth as my girls insisted on going to McDonalds for tea, where a delightful family had an argument before one of them threw his burger at the rest of them and stomped out swearing. You wouldn't get that sort of behaviour in the "Tented Village" enclosure at the races! We then spent a good Sunday in York at the Jorvik Viking Centre and Castle Museum. Mutt didn't go on this jolly (which was almost free - only the cost of a B&B as we decided to make it a weekend, which he wouldn't have to do) as he is miserable.

We had quite a few barbeques (including a good weekend with our friend Silver Lining ) and spent many an evening in the garden until late soaking up the last rays of sunshine. Mutt was mostly grumbling that nobody wants his house and painting everything in it white. He has managed to buy his "Country Retreat" though which cheered him up for a minute or two.
This month up to now, we have been mostly buying camping gear for our forthcoming probably waterlogged forthcoming trip to sunny Scarborough. We had a practice weekend in Staffordshire where we only got a bit wet and did see lots of monkeys in Trentham Chav Monkey Forest (they were Burberry Macaques) and it only cost £6 a night for the campsite.

And music? Well, not that much except for me establishing my Utterly remixed area as muutramonia on myspace. Mutt has been getting more and more lo-fi and indie and I needed to get some electronic sounds out to the world. I have had some good feedback already, and if you like it and have a myspace area of your own (and who doesn't these days?) then feel free to come and be my friend and leave lovely comments as it makes Mutt jealous.